I have read Lois J. Zachary’s book
titled, "The Mentor's Guide: Facilitating Effective Learning
Relationships" (second edition) with great interest. It contains 9 chapters, and is divided into
two parts with part one exploring the components of support, challenge, and
vision, and the second dealing with engaging in feedback and working with
obstacles. Here are the takeaways from
this book:
Takeaways
Today mentoring has become
collaborative; it is now a mutual discovery process in which both the mentor
and mentee have something to bring to the relationship (“the give”) and
something to gain that broadens each of their perspectives (“the get”). Wisdom is not passed down but discovered and
nurtured. This shift frees both partners
to learn together.
Mentor and mentee work together to
achieve specific, mutually defined goals that focus on developing the mentee’s
skills, abilities, knowledge, and thinking; it is in every way a learning
partnership.
The mentor nurtures and develops the
mentee’s capacity for self-direction (from dependence to independence to
interdependence) over the course of the relationship.
Today’s mentoring relationships are
usually short term: when the learning goals have been accomplished, the
relationship comes to closure. If goals
have not been achieved by a prearranged deadline or the partners agree on more
goals, the mentoring partners are free to review, assess, and renegotiate their
relationship.
The learning-centered mentoring
paradigm has seven critical elements: reciprocity, learning, relationship,
partnership, collaboration, mutually defined goals, and development.
Emotional intelligence is the ability
to recognize and understand our own emotions (self-awareness) and the emotions
of others (social awareness) and then to use this ability to guide our behavior
(self-management) and manage our relationships (relationship management)
She unveils that for any mentor it is
important to create a learning partnership; help mentees identify goals for
learning; negotiate a learning contract; help learners discover what objectives
they should set; use multiple modalities and resources to achieve the
objectives; manage the learning experience; help mentees stay focused on the
goals, objectives, and learning strategies; and periodically revisit goals to
stay on track.
She elaborates four levels of
competence and the mentor’s role in learning.
She reveals that if your mentee is a
logical person who is data driven and fact oriented and you operate more
intuitively, you will need to remember that your mentee approaches learning in
a more structured, specific way than you are normally comfortable with. Adjusting the learning in a way that meets
your mentee’s needs rather than your own is a good rule of thumb in creating an
environment that facilitates learning.
She writes that William Perry offers
four frameworks: dualism, multiplicity, relativism, and commitment. Especially these are lenses through which
individuals may view the world. Knowing
which lenses your mentee is wearing is fundamental to your success in
facilitating an effective learning relationship.
She explains stretch goals and rolls
out blueprint as follows: for each goal, define clear-cut objectives, outline
activities that will help you achieve them, identify the resources you need
(and where you can find them), lay out a time frame for accomplishing the
objective, and identify the first step you will take toward achieving that
stretch goal.
She reveals that partnerships that
fail frequently fall victim to one of the following difficulties: role
collusion, role diffusion, role confusion and role protrusion.
She outlines tips for successful
journaling:
• Schedule
it. Engaging in reflection regularly is more important than the time spent on
this activity.
• Personalize
the format; for example, use bulleted items.
• Don’t
get bogged down in detail. Capture a brief description or note some
specifics. Make sure you have written
enough so that when you review your entry later, you will be able to recall the
mentoring experience clearly.
• Note
your feelings at the time. Remember that
whatever it is that you experience or that stimulates your thinking will help
you better understand your own behavior.
• Describe
particularly meaningful mentoring that you have observed or experienced.
• If
you find yourself grasping at straws, sit down and write anything, even if it
is that you have no thoughts. Reflect on why that is so. You may find that all you needed was a
starting point. Once you have begun, it is easier to continue the process.
She created several beautiful stories
in this book. She narrates a story of
Chad and Nate where Chad is a mentor who is an extrovert and Nate is a mentee
who is an introvert. Initially they had
several challenges to gel well but subsequently they mould themselves and
create compatibility and chemistry to ensure effective mentoring outcomes.
She mentions pointers for mentoring
various cohorts/generations such as boomers, Gen Xers and Gen Yers. She
outlines generational dos and don’ts for boomers, Gen Xers, Gen Yers. She unfolds that today’s learning has become
more differentiated. She outlines
five-step work plan for achieving learning goals such as identifying the
learning goals and success criteria; lay out the objectives; identify the
learning tasks; list potential resources; and set a target date.
She provides a list to identify ways
through which to demonstrate trust-building behaviors:
• Listen
in ways that show you respect your mentee and that you value his or her ideas.
• Practice
openness when sharing information.
• Speak
authentically about your feelings.
• Explain
what you understand and admit what you do not understand.
• Explain
why you shift the level of your support according to the situation.
• Follow
through. Do what you say you will do.
• Continuously
work at safeguarding confidentiality.
• Be
open to feedback.
• Be
truthful.
• Be
consistent.
• Be
supportive publicly and privately.
She outlines strategies to promote
successful time management in a mentoring relationship: schedule time in
advance; monitor your time; spend quality time; pay attention to personal time
zones; and take care of yourself.
She says some mentees present unique
obstacles and particularly challenging situations for mentors. She provides some strategies for overcoming
obstacles with particularly challenging mentees: user mentees; jealous mentees;
unfocused mentees; manipulative mentees; submissive mentees; apathetic mentees;
and saboteur mentees. And also for mentors such as: impostership; burnout;
stress; lack of disclosure; ethical dilemmas; Crossing boundaries; Prejudice
and bias; procrastination; jealousy; chain of command; and mentee neglect.
She outlines some suggestions for
incorporating celebration into the closure of a mentoring relationship:
collaborate on the planning, elevate and expand knowledge, leverage learning,
expand your thinking, brag about accomplishments, rekindle memory, appreciate,
talk about transitions and espouse the vision.
Learn to turn situations into learning
opportunities.
Summarizing what you’ve learned during
a session reinforces the learning.
Silence provides an opportunity for
learning. Some individuals need time to
think quietly. Silence can also indicate
confusion, boredom, or even physical discomfort:
- Don’t be afraid of silence.
- Encourage silence.
- Use the silence as an opportunity for reflection-for example: “I notice that whenever we started to talk about .. you get kind of quiet. I’m wondering what that is about.”
Mentoring in a cross-cultural context
requires preparation and flexibility.
Cross-cultural expert, Gloria Sandvik identifies four action strategies
for maintaining a flexible cultural lens: prepare, remember, observe and show.
For each she offers specific recommendations.
In 1999 Jack Welch, former CEO of
General Electric, initiated the concept of reverse mentoring by asking a group
of senior executives to tap into the technical expertise from within the rank
and file of his company.
Distance mentoring - “A geographically
diverse mentoring relationship that takes place when it is not feasible,
desirable, or convenient for mentoring partners to meet on a regular
face-to-face basis.”
Social networking sites like Facebook,
Twitter, Ning, and Linked-In offer opportunities to create mentoring
communities and many have created online group mentoring sites.
Brookfield coined the term “assumption
hunting.” Assumption hunting is one of the most formidable ethical and caring
tasks that mentors carry out. He writes,
“In many ways we are our assumptions.
Assumptions give meaning and purpose to who we are and what we do. Becoming aware of the implicit assumptions
that frame how we think and act is one the most challenging intellectual
puzzles we face in our lives.” He breaks the process into three interrelated
phases: identifying assumptions, checking them out of for accuracy, and acting
in a more inclusive and integrative way.
Assumption hunting is a three step process:
Step 1: List your assumptions.
Step 2: Check their validity with
others.
Step 3: Keep checking!
A good mentoring negotiation process
will result in:
• Well
defined goals
• Success
criteria and measurement
• Delineation
of mutual responsibilities
• Accountability
assurances
• A
consensual mentoring agreement
• A
work plan for achieving learning goals
A thoughtful negotiating conversation
firmly sets boundaries. It also
anticipates pitfalls, fosters the exploration of emerging possibilities and
alternate pathways, and is flexible enough to accommodate renegotiations and
closure.
The mentoring partnership agreement is
in essence a “learning contract.”
There is nothing quite as important as
having well-defined learning goals in a mentoring relationship. A clear, compelling goal inspires action and
is indispensable to the work of mentoring in enabling growth and evaluating the
ongoing success of the relationship.
That’s why it’s important for mentoring partners to pay attention to the
goals they agree on and regularly revisit them throughout the mentoring
relationship.
For new mentors and those who have
mentored without formal guidance, the knowledge that mentoring relationships
have a predictable structure can be liberating:
Phase 1: Preparing (getting ready)
Phase 2: Negotiating (establishing
agreements)
Phase 3: Enabling Growth (facilitating
learning)
Phase 4: Coming to Closure (looking back,
moving forward)
It is an opportunity to harvest the
learning and apply what you have learned to other relationships and situations.
Coaching and mentoring are kindred
spirits. Although the terms are
sometimes used interchangeably, they are not the same thing. Coaching focuses
on enhancing performance by helping an individual close his or her knowledge
and skill gaps.
Despite the best of intentions,
mentoring partners do cross boundaries and limits are tested or exceeded. This can harm the mentoring relationship and
negatively affect the learning taking place within it.
It provides guidelines between the
mentor and mentee for successful mentoring and outlines a summary of
accountability assurance such as ground rules; confidentiality; boundary setting;
and hot buttons.
Respect helps individuals engage
effectively and learn from one another.
Taking respect for granted eventually hampers the partners’ ability to
build rapport and earn each other’s trust.
Trust can grow, but it cannot be maintained
automatically, and once it is lost, it is not easily regained.
Every relationship faces obstacles,
and the mentoring relationship is no exception.
The challenge is to overcome them and learn from the experience. A mentor who understands how to support,
challenge, and provide vision can facilitate mentee growth and development
despite obstacles that present themselves.
It is important to remember that
mistakes, failures, and missteps offer rich experience for learning.
Celebrate the mini-miles, mile
markers, and finish lines. Here are some
ideas you can use to get started: gift giving, written expressions,
face-to-face conversations.
After closure of the relationship,
mentors should take time to focus on their own learning and consider how they
can apply what they have learned to their advantage in future mentoring
relationships.
Dr Zachary concludes with final dos
and don’ts for facilitating your mentees’ learning and for nurturing your own
growth and development. They are:
heighten awareness; stay in the conversation; capture the learning and partner.
At the end, she provides resources that
serve as references for the readers who are keen to learn mentoring.
Great
Quotes from this Book
“Everything that happens to you is
your teacher. The secret is to learn to
sit at the feet of your own life and be taught by it.” - Polly Berends
“In the mentoring process reflection
enables us to slow down, rest, and observe our journey and the process of
self-knowledge that is so important along the way.” - Huang and Lynch
“Facilitators of learning see
themselves as resources for learning, rather than as didactic instructors who
have all the answers.” - Brookfield
“Good mentors help to anchor the
promise of the future.” - Sharon Daloz Parks
“You can’t hold people accountable for
things that aren’t clear.” - Patrick Lencioni in The Five Temptations of a CEO
Conclusion
Dr. Zachary is an expert in adult
learning and she effectively integrated her adult background with mentoring and
added value to this book. She writes
cross-cultural issues involved in mentoring. She authored this book keeping the
global audience in view. She substantiates the content with a lot of references
which indicates the amount of efforts she has put it to author this book. She
authored this book based on her experiences.
Hence, nobody can write better than her on mentoring. She is a genius in mentoring and precisely,
mother of mentoring.
The book contains interesting case
studies that make it easy to understand the essences and relate the content
with real live events. It provides several
tables, templates, checklists, activities, and exercises. The book provides A to Z of mentoring. Anyone who wants to learn about the length and
breadth of mentoring this is the best book under the sun in the earth.
The book is worth investing your
time. Those who are passionate about
mentoring must read Zachary’s book. You can gift this book to your friends and
relatives and, of course, to your mentees who will remember you forever for
your kind gesture.
Email: msrlctrg@gmail.com
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